deAd dOlls

2005-05-28T11:31:00.000+08:00

i m tireddedefadedeeafaefreagrg.....
i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! maucks x 100000000000000000000000000
i m crazy in love............ la la la ...~*

2005-05-13T11:22:00.000+08:00

ITS BEEN 2 DAMN LONG MONTHS SINCE I LAST UPDATED!!

FARK. I M NOT FREE TO DO ANYTHING NOW COS MY EYES ARE HURTING ME!

BYE.
WILL UPDATE SOON!

KEEP LOOKING YAH BABY..

2005-03-13T13:36:00.000+08:00

its sundae. and i feel so damn restless.. imagine i went clubbing last night and came back at 5am this morning, went to sleep at 6am.. and woke up at 11am.. its like i only got 5 hours of sleep.. shit.

FRIDAY
nothing interesting happens to mi nowadaes.. life is boring.. wen you wake up like 7:30am in the morning, eyes can barely open, body seems to be like sticking to your bed, bones are gonna break if you move... thats how i felt for the past 2 weeks.. i m soo tired.. i wanna go for a spa.. or mayb jus a facial will do.. anyway, boss was not around the whole dae.. i kinda slack here and there.. hahaa.. and i still feel bored. ypu noe why.. cos the whole entire office consist of ONLY ME. see.. thats the point.. can slack, but nobody tok to you.. after work, i went to the IT show.. damn crowed.. regreted going.. go there let pple step on my 120 bucks Adidas shoe. fark. its fridae again... thats means its gonna b sat tomoro~* yipiee.... damn lame -.- i m really bored. BORED AND MORE BORED!!! BOREDMON is waiting for mi everydae. the moment i wake up till the moment i sleep.. i feel shit.

SAT NIGHT FEVER (and i mean real fever)
okie i feel feverish this morning wen i woke up.. having cold and flu and cough.. my mucus on my right nosile is stuck and on my left, its like free flow.. wtf.. but still have to go to work cos i'm the one who opens the door.. woke up late this morning... only at 8am.. rushed off to work and manage to reached at 0905.. open the door, light the candle, on the aircon, on my com and log on to online radio 98.7, sit and stone looking at the computer screen.. called joanne and ask her if she wanna go downstairs to have breakfast.. we went down and stuff.. din see boss todae also.. he went to the head office upstairs and never came down.. so sad... hahahahaaa...
after work at 1230pm, we went home straight cos we are heading down to chinablack tonight.. ~tonight i'll b your naughty ger~*... went home sleep for like an hour or so.. headed to town and meet up with joanne.. went over to far east, have dinner, bought some stuff, went to the toilet at the galleria hotel before heading to outside pacific plaza to JAMIE!! and her friend iris.. whoa.. its like how many weeks have i not seen her already.. her hair grew soo long.. miss her soo damn bloodly much. wahahaha.. oh ya.. met another JAMIE!! hahaa.. joanne's friend.. but this is jamie liew(liu) or sth like that.. the other one is jamie yeo.. we had fun, wehave joy, wehave season in the sun~.. hahaa.. in the moon... at like 1am.. the farking fark up police wanan do a head count of all the pple in the club.. fark.. made us go all the way down.. requeue... but we were lucky. joanne's 'sweet brother' got us in the members queue so we were the first few that went up first.. wen we went up, no crowed.. the crowed were like 9pm crowd.. barely more then 50 pple i think.. we conitinue dancin and stuff.. den joanne felt tired so she went over to douglas and gang there to rest.. i was alone.. until this siao guy came up to mi.. he told mi
siao: my hp lost.. why u nv call mi and tell mi u coming black..
me:ignore*
siao: my hp lost..
me: den wat you wan mi to do?
siao: why u nv call mi? my hp lost..
at this moment, i m really scared of him already.. so i went to look for joanne.. after that, mi and joanne went to the other side of the dancefloor and dance.. den the farkersiao guy came up to mi again.. i tried to hide behind joanne..BUT he still comes forward and sae HI.. wtfark!!.. scary sia this guy.. after he walk away, i drag joanne into the center of the dancefloor.. we dance and xianhan joined us.. he was kinda drunk.. but he look soo cute.. hahaa... this time AGAIN. the siao guy came up to mi.. den joanne, the brave and courages woman, shooo him away!!! wahaha!!!! joanne, she's the woman of the woman =) hehee... after that, douglas joined us.. dance till 4:15am den we went off.. share cab with joanne and douglas.. well.. douglas attitude should really change... its worst.. aiyo.. hai.. *speechless* =P

hopefully i wont see that siao guy anymore.. well, i m going black next weekend with my sec skool friends... hopefully i can lose some weight and my hair WILL grow longer by then..

well well well.. wat do you noe.. tomoro is mondae blues... again..... sian...

2005-03-07T16:08:00.000+08:00

i m soOOOoooo damn busy!!! and of cos.. therefore, i m lazy to blog.. whahahahaaa... anyway, not alot of pple bothers to read my blog anyway.. well.. i m working now!! joanne intro mi this job.. located at UBI.. AML building, dealing with cars.. BUT i m not a salesperson tho.. i m SUPPOSE to be doing data entry.. but i m also taking up the post of P.A.. stressssSSss!! pimpleeEEeees!! hmmm.. got to do a debtor something.. soo difficult!! call lawyer, call the salesman.. aiyo soo troublesome.. cant pple jus pay their bloodly farking bills and save mi from all this trouble!!!!!!!! anyway, its fun working here. altho theres alot of things i dunno how to do.. i m trying HARD to do.. cos i dun wanna bother joanne much abt the work as she got her own stuff to do.. hai~ 3 more weeks to go! =P

anyway, i went black last fridae.. kinda feeling boreded.. but the music okie okie.. not really that sucky tho.. duck duck is much thinner now.. ashton, still the same.. hong was not there.. he was feeling sick.. get well soon my dear okie.. drink more water.. well, din tok to them much.. it seems like we got nth much to tok to each other also.. oh ya, it was YI MING'S BIRTHDAE!! well, it was kinda fun.. dancing with him.. wahahaa.. it was crazy..
guess wat! i saw 4 gays dancing together on the bartop! wtf!!! hahaa... rubbing each other, havin fun.. its gross.. and everybody was like looking at them.. aint they shameless or wateva..

todae is tuesdae 08.03.05 and i am super fark up stress!! the guy jus told mi that the data that i entered need to be entered in another system.. fark man!! dat means i entered wrongly la.. aint my fault rite.. i super angry!! got sooo many things to do liaos den tell mi "oh i think u key in wrong data base." wtf!! the data base is he give mi one also ma.. argh.................... i m stress!!!!!!
anyway, might be going clubbing this sat night with dan fab and co. mayb black? or zouk? most prob should b zouk.. i dunno... i m sooo damn fat still!! i wanna slim down fast b4 this coming sat.. har har... okie i wanna go da pian already! chaoz...

*thanks to those hu visit my blog quite often =) huggies!!!

2005-02-27T00:37:00.000+08:00

[[___ phOtOblOgiie_______]]

side view-
front wif hair behind-
this is my trademark pose-
i like this one... nice rite-
my front and japanese lookalike wateva shit-

tata~*!!!! i jus cut my hair!!! by myself!!! aint i talented... haahahaa.. hmmm.. look quite nicew to mi tho~ better den my previous "look so messy lazy" hair...

bry said i look like some japanese ger.. den fab said i look like some secondary 3 student.. i think i look even younger like tat.. like some primary school ger.. hahahaa..

wtf.. well, i really got nothing better to do den to play my hair.. but anyway, hair will grow fast... hai~* i m sooo boreded.. went to town todae.. but nobody can pei mi walk walk so i walk alone.. so pitiful leh.. sad.. sobsob.. after that, i went home. ate western for dinner den watch the i guess, i guess, i guess guess guess.. they featured lotsa skinny gers on tv... make mi sooo arggghhh.. i wan to slim down!!!! fast.

i miss the daes wen my pimples were not where they were now. sian.

2005-02-25T01:20:00.000+08:00

yeaa!!! i'm updating mine bloggiiee.. heeex...
well well lets see wat i did todae.. hmm... i went to marina south with my friends.. cos its his birthdae!! HAPPIIE HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAEE!!! hmm.. we went kite flying.. its was tough at first due to the lack of wind.. after mastering the art of kite flying from my friend, i manage to fly the kite DAMN DAMN high!! i used the whole roll of string.. jus imagine that man! hahaa..

pls call mi pro.. thanks =)

well TODAE i had sOOoo much fun!! weee... after that we went arcade and play beatmania den there was this stupid dodo ger playing that machine and i'm like queuing behind her for a farking long time.. but she jus continue inserting her coins everytime she failed in every stage..
c'mon man.. if you cant play OR you dunno how to play, get off the freaking machine and SEE how pple play la dun act smart or rich.. so wat if you are rich? you think you can 'bao' the whole machine ar.. stop your shiity daedream la.. admit it.. YOU JUS SUCK AT PLAYING THIS GAME OKIE. she wasted like 5 bucks jus to complete one game of 5 stages.. i only used 1 buck.. compare that.. she too much marniee dunno how to spend is it.. give mi la.. biangs.. i completed the whole game in one go in front of her.. WAHAHAHAA.. i sooOOo DAMN HAOLIAN todae sia.. =P anyway, i'm jus feeling happiieeeee... weeeeee....

tomoro i going toapahyo to studiiee with fudgie and idiot.. hmmm hope they can help mi in my math.. I JUS SUCK AT IT.. seee at least i admit.. har har.

happiieee hipppiieee weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
(*'-'*)

2005-02-21T23:08:00.000+08:00

i m too lazy to blog nowadaes.. i m jus another lazybum waiting for marniee to drop from the sky.. har.

sundae.
todae i wenta SENTOSA ISLANDER'S LIFE. [thats also my life.. mhahaa..] woke up at 9:30am.. suppose to meet alex at 10am at point. BUT i massive bomb his hp like 20 times at 9:30am and he din pick up.. i tot he still sleeping.. cos if he is, i will continue sleeping also. he finally called mi at 9:40am.. okie he's in the toilet.. har har... we changed to meet at 10:10am.. i got to point at 10:15am i was early! cos he haven reached yet.. he called mi at around that time and asked if i got speakers.. but i dun! so he went home to bring em.. i went for breakfast and stuff.. after he reached at about 10:25am, we went to buy some stuff before heading to SENTOSA.
he bought:
10 AA batteries $10
8 different breads $6 plus (breads on sales. buy 3 get 1 free. only at NTUC point)
1packet of ribena sweets $1 plus.
i bought:
1 banana boat dark tanning spray SPF 4 $11
after all the shopping for stuff, we went to take bus 72 to hougang MRT. reached hourbourfront MRT at around 12pm. went to the bus interchange and found out that the farking queue for the bus to sentosa is soooo dammmn loong looo.. fark. we decided to take a cab in instead.. went to the bus stop to hail for a cab.. abt 5 mins later, this stupid looking bastard beng walked infront of us to hail a cab. following him were 3 niggas. i look at alex and we decided to take the bus. after we turn our heads, the farking nerdbeng and niggas got up a cab!! they smile at us wen the cab passed by us.. i pointed __ at em.. HARHAR.. seriously, i think they should be FARK by some of their own species. anyway, after they left, we FINAllY got a cab. driving us was this cute bowlshape haircut old ah peh.. he look soo cute.. i even ask him where he cut his hair.. hahaa.. he drove us to the checkpoint and realised that there's a long queue in..
ah peh: ehh.. you all go the bus stop there and take the bus in la.. faster ma..
alex: its okie uncle, jus drive us in.
ah peh: i haven take my lunch le.. see the queue soo long.. i dun charge you all the cab marnie la.. you all go take bus la..
alex: nono.. its okie.. later you go in no queue one.. smooth traffic inside..
after that the uncle got nth to sae.. so we diam diam.. after not long, one of the sentosa guy came up to us to sell the entry tixs.. at this point of time, the ah peh ask the guy
ah peh: inside got alot of cars anot huh?
guy: yes ar!! todae alot of car drive in man..
WTF!! wah.. this guy damn irritating lo.. make the situation worst.. i m irritated at this time.
anyway, we got the ah peh to drive us to the beach. we stop at tajong beach.. we wanted to go siloso beach.. so we are at the end of the other beach. great rite. -.- . wen we were abt to get down the cab, the ah peh sae: faster open the door later the couple dun wanna take my cab..
fark sia. this ah peh kiasu like hell man.. nvm. who cares abt him.
we continue walking towards siloso beach which seems to be miles apart.. walk and walk and walk.
FIANLLY reached there. the sun was strong, good. can tan well. we tan and tan and tann... we tan for 3 hours before heading for da showers..

i m tired. thats all actually.. after that, nth much happen tho~*
i wanna go sentpsa again~!! mayb i m going with my cousin again this week.. mayb fridae? hopefully.. har.
my wound is still soo damn painful man.. looks like got pass coming out.. hmmm...

*why is the whether so fark up! so hot! i wan rain! rain rain DUN go away.. DUN come again another dae~... hmm.. har. tired.

2005-02-19T00:38:00.000+08:00

i m hungry!!! ...
i m bored!!! ...
i m like a jelly now!!! ...

i wanna eat you!!!...

2005-02-18T01:49:00.000+08:00

todae is the 18 of feb 2005 . 2:00am
i finally took some time to update my bloggie.. well.. actually i've kinda lazy to update my bloggie also.. hahaax... hmmm.. dunno where to start also.. so just write wat pops into my brain and summarize the whole of CNY 2005 ya... fark .

CNY: this year is damn damn DAMN boring.sickening.farking dead. i only collected 8 hong baos total up too like 300 bucks nias.. wtf.. den i played majong and blackjack with derick, fredrick and i lost like 170 bucks lo.. wah biangs dun think i playing with them anymore lo.. EVERYTIME i play EVERYTIME i will lose one lo.. but i won like one pathetic dollar from the game MONOPOLY.. shit rite.. this kinda game also can bet marniee.. wtf sia.. so total i lost 160 bucks..
*went to alex's house last sundae.. actually i won 70 bucks which i can cover up my lost of 160 but after i continue playing, i lost the 70 bucks again.. -.- .. in the end, no win no lose..
*went to desmond's house 2 daes ago.. won 30 bucks.. which AGAIN i tot can cover up my lost.. BUT i lost in the end again.. = no win no lose. sian half lo.
wat a shity CNY is this.. boring man.. dun even have the festive celebration feeling lohs.
lets all pray that each year will be a better year. amen. shit.

todae: went sentosa this morning at 11am.. i wanted to get my adidas volley ball that cost 29.90 bucks from royal sporting house at hgpt. BUT wtf. the shop is not even open yet wen i went down at 10:45am lo.. shit rite. okie den nvm.. wen i'm on the bus on the wae to hougang mrt station, this auntie came up the bus and ask mi whether bus 72 goes to the mrt anot. cant she see that i'm listening to mp3 player? blind huh.. i cant even hear her and she must wave her hand in front of my face to get my attention lo.. damn paisay biangs.. nvm i take it as i'm helpful enough to help the elderly.senior citizen or wateva old pple.. wen i reach the mrt station, i got to top up my card.. i'm sort of in a rush cos i'm already late meeting my cousin. nvm.. this another auntie come and disturb mi again.. ask mi to help her top up 2 cards.. WTF. my train coming liaos lohs.. 2 mins.. den she still slowing take her marniee out.. fark sia. i open my eyes big big see my train leave.. sian arghhHh!!! nvm.. take it as i did a good deed again.. helpful to the farking aunties. i noe i'm bad saying them but cant they jus find someone else. why of all pple MI! i m pissed. sorry. took train to hourbourfront station and my cousing is there waiting for mi already..
went to buy a bottle of dark tanning lotion. (cousin paid for it) bought a volleyball for 11 bucks (i paid).. it was a white ball.. not that bad..
but i still wan my adidas volley ball.. =(
head for sentosa in the end at 12pm.. reach siloso beach at 12:30.. and guess wat~ i fall down and my skin peel of at the top of my left foot. FARK! wat dae is it todae? everydae sundae ar.. suay like shit lo todae. pain like fark also.
change and stuff.. tan and tan and tan.. the sun damn strong sia.. but i really feel like sleeping lo.. nice nice.. haar.. tan for like 1 hour i went to swim around.. wen my injured foot touch the seawater. WOAH~* pain!!! imagine rubbing salt onto ur wounds.. nice hor.. bleahx.. swam here swam there.. all the same.. bored. went to play volley after that.. den this group of NS guys came and asked if we wanna play together. den we agreed although i dunno how to play.. har har.. they not really that handsome except for one name kenneth.. hahaa.. he's wearing a quiksliver broadshorts!! i love guys wearing quiksliver broadshorts.. soooo boyish.. harhar.. played 3 matches and we won by 1 point only. left sentosa at 3:30pm and headed to town to catch a muvee. "A MOMENT TO REMEMBER" wah damn nice lo~!! i cried like nobody's business man.. free flow of melody's tears.. wahahaa.. really nice.. its abt this guy and ger who finally got married but the ger got some kinda illness like senile at the age of only 27.. slowly slowly she starts to forget her family and everything.. she also forgot dat she got a husband but in the end she only regain the part of her memory wen she first met her husband.. blar blar.. the guy really did lotsa stuff for her sake lohs.. wah liaos.. where to find this kinda guy.. tall, handsome, good, hahaa.. in my dreams mayb.. i'm in a rush now so i miss out lotsa nice points.. you read this you might find it not that nice but TRUST ME. its nice.

went back hougang with alex.. he jus cut his hair into a "bird nest fern" lookalike for 36 bucks!! ex sia.. i think mayb the hairdresser dislike his gayish attitude den tried to make him more man~ hahaax.. he insisted that he look more like a butch.. hahaax.. wateva, ur hair will grow back de.. no worries yah~*

saw jerry at kopitiam just now.. i went home after that and msg him if we could meet up for a while and stuff and i tot that he would nv reply.. but who noes~ he did!! wahhaa.. i must buy 4D liao.. haa.. didn't tok to him in the end.. cos he saes he having common test and stuff.. and he reply 3 times lo.. haaa.. ask mi to take care too~* sooo sweet rite.. hahaax.. siao.

zhurut ar zhurut is not in a good mood this few daes i guess.. hmm.. tell mi wat happen kie.. if you got problems lar.. dun tell mi wat PMS hor.. i smack you ar.

okie. i m tired. thats it. bye.

2005-02-10T01:41:00.000+08:00

[ [ WARNING!! THIS ENTRY IS RATED NC16. SO IF YOU ARE NOT 16, PLEASE F**K OFF] ]

***PARENTAL ADVISORY***

todae i am DAMN IRRITATED by my farking uncle.

fark one lo. cannot go out at night. den now i got craving for fried rice den i cannot go out eat also.. wat the fark. now is like 1:30am lo.. wah liao.. i cant sleep!!! my uncle is like obviously pin-pointing mi LOH . i how old liaos le.. this year coming 20 still cannot go out? wah lao uncle you trying to kid who...
normally i wake up like noon already den after noon i nv go out one los.. den at night cannot go out? wat.. like i under probation loh..

to my uncle:
LISTEN UP MOTHERFARKER. I AINT NO KID ANYMORE. LEMME HAVE MY OWN WAY AND FREEDOM RITE. PLEASE SPEND YOUR BLOODLY TIME ON YOUR OWN SON TEACHING HIM SOME MANNERS. DUN PRETEND TO CARE IF YOU'RE NOT. GET THIS CLEAR INTO YOUR FARKING MORONIC LIL' BRAIN!! IF YOU THINK YOU'RE SOOO PRREEEFECT, PLEASE WAKE UP FROM UR DREAM MAN. YOU ARE SOOO OLD ALREADY DUN YOU NOE THAT NOBODY IS PRRREEEFECT IN THIS WORLD?
YOU ARE JUS A MOTHERFARKER BASTARD MORON SHITFACE ARSEHOLE WITH SOME SHIT STICKING OUT GUY WHO THINKS THAT YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU! U ARE JUS SOOO DAMN FARKING WRONG! PLEASE TRY TO STICK YOUR BIG TOE INTO YOUR NOSTRIL IF YOU GOT SOOO MUCH TIME TRYING TO FIND FAULT AT ME OK. I HATE YOU LIKE FARK. I HATE YOU LIKE SHIT. I HATE YOU FOREVA!!!

fark man.. i am swearing too much.. hmm not good. but i wanna let it off me!! why cant he jus act like a normal human being who can understand humans? please.. someone pls help him man! fark.. one dae, I WILL MAKE SURE I FIND RUHUA TO RAPE HIM UPSIDE DOWN!

FARK OFF YOU NIGGA!!!

I M VERY PISSED OFF TODAE.

2005-02-09T19:11:00.000+08:00

additional post: i just changed the music.. again.. hahaha.. this is by SHINHWA: ALL YOUR DREAMS~* nice rite.. hahaa.. my hyesung sing one le.. wahaha... i love this song~ but the quality not that good tho~* =)
__________________________________________________________

todae marks the first dae of CNY. and guess wat. i m rotting at home. yeah~ . watch tv the whole dae. sian three quarter. see its more den half.. -.- okie i'm just laming to entertain myself. HAHAHA.. SO FUNNY..

shit! got leg cramp this morning wen my mama ask mi to wake up at like 11:30am.. its like:
mama: still dun wanna wake up ar..
den i was*shocked*
mi: wah laos!! my leg cramp larrrr... arghh...
mama: hahaax.. orbi good!! go out play somemore lar.. play till late late lar.. hahaha.. ORBI GOOD~!!!
mi: -.-"
wtf.. wats so funny.. its so painful kieee. never feel for others one le.. somemore can orbi mi.. nvm.. i think she wans revenge.. cos 2 daes ago she paint her nails den the colours look like auntie.. den i laugh at her:
mi: hahaa.. so fast going into the 'auntie's community already ar? hahaa..
so this is wat happen.. weird rite.. our relationship is not like mother daughter tho~ sth is wrong man..

went clubbing last night at black with alex, zhurut, [joseph and jameson][alex's friends.. dunno if their names are rite] well, THIS is the first time i go in black at like 11 plus and there is nobody at the attic bar. went down to the dancefloor and guess wat.. i can even do a headcount. there are only like 30 plus people.. sian rite. nobody starts the dance floor till like abt 1am plus.. den like abt 2am, crowd starts to come in.. the farking DJ got some problem man. someone pls go screw his head. only played RnB at abt 3am. and the club closed at 4am.
saw this ger who is quite good in dancing to house music. but wen it comes to RnB, she looks just like a dodo bird trying to fly.. hahaaaaaaax.... sorry for being bad.. but i'm just so mean ya.. got that.
and saw peline at the dancefloor den saw douglas there also. but he left early. hmmm.. make some new friends.. hahaax..

after clubbing, corn man and pig rut wanna go have sth to eat. so we tried our luck at point but the food court is CLOSED. so the two lil' poooorrr piggys got to get food from cheers.
*cup noodles
*spiced meat cubes
*baby hotdogs or wat "winnie" shit.
after eating, toking nonsense, its amost 5am in da morning~*
wen home after that. call my friend and tok for a while. its was like almost 6am den i fell asleep. woke up at 12pm, and the ROTTING SESSION begin...

-i m now really really determined to lose some weight.
-i got some confession to make.. but.. cant make it here.. im shy you noe.. mhahaa...
-i totally lost feelings for him. i guess i got that feeling back in the first place is bcos of wat he said to mi that night. but i guess i cant pretend that he dun even have a slight intention of getting back so. fark it. i dun wanna give a damn too. i guess "friends" is the best word to fit into this situation now.
-i wanna go watch CONSTATINE.

to: someone special.
thanks for being there. u'll always there wen i needed some advice, comments, and shit. =)

2005-02-08T15:17:00.000+08:00

time checked: 3:30pm!! fark.. i m farking going to be late going over to my granny's house.. got to prepare fast.. gtg bugis later for the dinner. hai~ far le... i wanna go out tonight!! but nobody jios.. sians.. tonning. thats wat i m best at!! wahahaha.. hmmm.. mayb i'll update my blog after CNY... hahaax.. gonna be REALLY bz gambling.. hahaax... ANYWAY, GONG XI GONG XI GONG XI TO YOU~* or wateva.

enjoy urself peeps~!

guess wat, i din think of him AT ALL. is the feeling dead? i dunno. har.

2005-02-07T02:06:00.000+08:00

todae.. i went bugis.. walk around.. bought a new dress..
came back hougang.. watch tv.. went down to point kopitiam to la kopi..
tok with mr.zhurut, mr.alex, mr.jody, mr.jac ... we talk alot of crap.. tsunami~* har har.. mr.alex showed us disgusiting pics.. -.- heng ar.. i nv see if not i think i will be too scare to go to da toilet in the middle of the night.. heh.. after that mr.alex ate 'ba minced noodle' and i m soOoo tempted to eat.. but its after 8pm so i'm on a diet rememeber..
so we continue toking and toking and toking.. toking abt facial for zhurut so he wont regret next time.. toking abt alex pooo pooo dae.. how his butt felt after having to poo soo maniie times adae..
quoted from him: " like pple using lighter to burn around my butt.. " har.

i wan to go facial too..
i wan to go sentosa to tan..
i wan to go execrise more..
i wan to go for a buffet meal..

actually i m hungry now.. hai.

think of him alil' todae. is that good huh.

2005-02-06T04:25:00.000+08:00

time checked:4:30am in da morning..
just came back from toking with zhurut and JERRY..

how my dae went.. i woke up at 2pm.. went SLS with my friend to buy FT.. 70 bucks.. den headed to PS to watch EPL.. man u vs bir. 2-0 hahaax man u won but its kinda expected.. hmmm nothing much happen todae tho.. hai~

i dunno should i feel happy or sad or wat.. happy to see him but sad cos we din EVEN tok more den 10 sentences for like 3 plus hours.. imagine that long den we din really tok.. har.

hmmm.. after coming back from PS to point, i saw JERRY, zhurut and john.. tok to them.. saw jerry first actually but i dare not go over. i SHY* hahaa.. den after coming out from cheers, i saw zhurut. den he came over to tok to mi and ask mi whu dun wanna go over to tok.
mi: i shy le..
zhu: u shy or he shy?
mi: i shy la.
den mr.zhurut sae he turn over to sort of like see mi. den he shy. harhar.. i dunno true ma.. anyway after toking for something, mi, mr.zhurut and him went to a voiddeck to tok shit. hai~ still dun have the guts to tok to him.. i think cos mr.zhurut there so got alot of things to sae but i dun dare to sae to him. hai.. after that abt 3:45, jerry tired liao.. so he wanna go home.. so i sae i wanna go home also.. but actually i wanted to tok to him after we head home. but i turned my head, he was gone liaos.. i think he got nothing much to sae to mi also bah.. hmmm.. i went to the basketball court to see if he is home.. waited for 15 mins but his room light was not turned on so i head home too.

questions i wanna asked him:
are you avoiding mi?
hows ur wrist and ur hip now?
i miss you much. did you?
why din you reply my sms?

hai~* guess i wont be able to ask him these.. i dunno why. but i feel that he is avoiding mi but he is also giving mi the feeling that he might still like mi abit. just a lil' bit. hai~* wat kinda shity feeling ish this.. fark. i hate this feeling.

someone help mi please. thanks ar.

* to mr.zhurut: please drink more WATER. eat more FRUIT so you can SHIT well. and CLEAR ur PIMPLES okie. be good.. eat ur veg too. haa..
*to cha lin: DUN STRESS!!
*to jamie and joanne: I MISS you GERS!!

i miss him still. as much tho.

2005-02-04T01:28:00.000+08:00

i m homiie.
i went swimming todae.
i went gym after that.
i went to eat my dinner after that.
i went to play bowling after that.
i went to play pool after that.
i went to watch tv after that.
i went home after that.
i went to seletar country club to do as the above stated.
i am bored.
i still miss him as much.
i just upload my photos here.
i want to play majong.
i want to slim down.
i want to be nice.
i want to change
i think i have a boring life.
thats its.
i miss you guys out there who stands by me.
finished.

are you avoiding mi.
i hope not.

2005-02-03T01:08:00.000+08:00

short and sweet~*
i miss him more todae..
went to tampines to buy frozen throne disc.. (pirated) har har..
i miss him now..
ate one whole tube of ice cream..
i miss him even more now..
my hands are itcly for majong..
i miss him every minute..
i wan to get my hp line connected back by tomoro..
i miss him.

just 3 words i wan him to noe.. but i noe that he will never get to noe..
I MISS YOU

2005-02-02T22:14:00.000+08:00

i feel so cold now. i feel so sad now. i feel so alone all by myself now. tears roll down my cheeks. i miss him..

i miss him.. everything went fine for mi todae.. found my desired top, din quarrel with my mummy.. i tot everything is going to be good for mi..
from the moment i woke up which was like at 10am till 5pm, i kept thinking of the same question.
should i call him?
i din really have the courage until everything went so well for mi todae so i jus gave it a shot.
called him around 5 plus:
him:who is this?
mi: melody.. wat u doing now? bz ar?
him: yup.. doing my school project..
mi: okie lo.. dun disturb u liaos.. bye~*
thats it.. only like 5 to 6 sentences.. he din ask mi how i got his no. and stuff.. so i din tell him also.. okie.. i noe that this is not a very good outcome.. i told jamie.. she saes that mayb he is with his peers dens why he dun wanna tok too much.. true? i dunno..
i dun wanna keep the conversation too lengthy cos i noe that he is bz and i'm scared that he will find mi irritating..
tried smsing him at abt 8pm asking if his hip is okie? and reply mi is possible.. send him the same msg twice in case he din rec'd the first one.. he did not reply.. does all this imply something? i dunno..

tok to alex abt it.. alex hit mi with one question..:
1]do you really still love him? or
2]you jus wan him back bcos u feel regret of not cherishing him before..
well.. wat can i sae.. if i dun love him, i wont feel that my heart is breaking into million of pieces wen he dun reply.. if i dun love him, my tears wont jus roll down my cheeks for no reason..
but i must sae that i do regret also for not cherishing him before and causing so much pain and bad memories for him.. now that i noe somethings jus cant be forgotten,
i wanna tell him that i have not forgetten him..
i also have something that i wanna tell him 2 years ago but all this while i just cant find the courage to do so.
i'm really sorry for everything that i have done to hurt you..

actually i still rememeber everything we did together..
his birthdae:13th august
the dae we got together: 18 dec 2001 (night)
favourites: mouse (bcos of tom and jerry.. jerry is the mouse)
colour: blue
first song he sang to mi: thank god by kangta in his room
there are alot more i rememeber and it will forever br stored in mi..

as wat lynn has sae.. mayb i just should not carry high hopes yet..

anyway, wanan thanks those who are really there to lend mi their ears wen i needed them.. [jamie, alex, lynn, cha lin] =)

2005-02-01T01:00:00.000+08:00

hahaa.. i m soOOOooOooOOOoOooooooooo happy todae!! finally got jerry's no. from lyn.. hahaa.. went to point after coming back from bugid to get my top.. cost 23 bucks.. CHEEP!!!! hahaaa... well i shall call him tomoro... hmm.. got chance ma?.. i dunno !!! but still so excited!! hahaa.. siaos liaos las... nvm hahaa... i m so happy.. tomoro.. go shopping!! go ladies night!! call jerry!! so many things to do!! blar blah blar!!! okie.. peace off =P

2005-01-31T23:13:00.000+08:00

todae i feel quite good.. hahaa.. yup.. change the music to a theme song for the movie "windstruck" by BK Love... nice rite.. hee .. hmmm.. woke up at 0930 den went to have breakfast at hougang ave 8.. had the wanton mee there.. not nice at all.. i only ate half the plate... its totally tasteless tho.. anyway, after that i went over to ocrhard to look for my mummy.. she works in the wheelock building.
so todae actually got quite a few stuff to do:
change the OP skirt and my brother's shorts..
go bugis to get the top i wanted..
get my hair dye and other stuff..
went to BYSI at scotts to see if they got the top i wanted cos jamie told mi that she saw it there.. i went over but saw nothing.. -.-

went to bugis, change the stuff that are suppose to be changed and tried looking for my top.. but still cant find so i call joanne cos she owns the top.. den she sae its not BYSI its from this shop called "shuang". den i ask:
me: where is the shop?
her: somewhere near the stairs leading to the secong level..
me: here got stairs leading to second level meh? got other landmarks or wat other shop near by?
her: i dunno...
she like obviously dun wanna let mi find the shop to get my top rite.. where the hell in bugis can u find a staircase leading to the second floor except for the fire exits? ... anyway, my mummy sae so too.. mayb she jus dun wanna let mi buy the same top as her.. anyway after we covered the whole of bugis area in like 45 mins, i gave up finding the shop..
kie.. went to watsons to get my hair dye.. wanted to get a light copper blond one cos thats my hair colour.. but i think think like very yellow in colour.. in the end i got a red dye.. its abit dark red.. but the colour was nice!!
reached home at like 4pm, dye my hair.. am happy with the results.. after that as usual.. glue to tv.. com.. blar blah blar...

*called jerry's house twice in the afternoon nobody picked up.. jus called him again at like 10pm den his brother saes that he is not in.. aiya.. i forgot to ask him wat time is he coming back.. dumb.. -.-
*anyway, alex is sick!! went pooooo pooooo so many times todae.. har har har.. =P
*called chalin to ask her wen she wanna go out den she sae most likely weekend bah.. pity her.. *see her like study soo hard in JC.. hai~*

*called jamie and wanted to confirm wat time she wanna meet mi on wed.. but she din answer.. was kinda surprised that she called mi at like 1:30am last night den she told mi that she quit her job already.. so we decided to go shop shop on wednesdae and head for ladies night at chinablack!! kinda excited cos i have nv been to ladies night before.. har har..

pls lemme mi see you again and again agaiiinnnn......

2005-01-30T22:53:00.000+08:00

____________*[[_ my dream guy*________]]

i am sooo super duper bored todae!! nothing to do.. slacking rotting around...
slept at 2am cos i was doing a blog up for my lil' bro... a very simple one tho.. hahaax... den alex saes that i can open up a company to create blogs for pple.. i not that pro leh.. i jus started learning html... hmm.. okie.. den i got up this morning at 11am.. wash my face, glue to tv and com.. ate half a pack of chicken rice.. din have any cramp from the execrise i did yesterdae.. damn.. its useless man..
left for junction 8 at abt 2:30pm with my mummy and my lil' brother.. bought:
one tube (dunno wat shop) , one skirt (OP) , one broadshort (OP) , one XL t-shirt (OP), one sling bag (OP)
COS OCEAN PACIFIC HAVING 30% SALES!!!
den my mummy paid for everything.. total = $150 plus... so cheap yet so expensive -.-"
after that we went to sakae sushi for lunch.. ate:
4 sweet prawns (raw), 6 pieces of salmon sashimi (raw), 2 unagi (cooked)...
thats all. i'm on diet remember.. but the bill total up to $40 plus!! again.. 3 person $40 plus soo expensive.. we din order any set meals also.. only took those plates from the rotating belts.. hai~ my mummy spend abt $200 plus in a 1 hours once in a blue moon shopping trip...
tomoro i'm going orchard to meet my mummy den we will be heading bugis to get this really nice top from BYSI.. i think abt $40 plus.. hopefully they still got stock cos the design is abt 2 weeks ago.. got to call MOE for an interview also.. about this teaching art thingy.. if i can get through i get to go through a 4 years course and have to have a bond with MOE for 5 years.. but everything is paid by MOE.. and i can paid wihile i study too.. hopefully can get in also..
I WANT TO BE A TEACHER!!! hahaa.. I SHALL MOULD THE FUTURE!!! mhahaha *eveil grins*
well.. call jerry's house in the evening but den his brother answer and saes that he is not in... think he went dancing again.. hope that he is okie =) okie shall end here.. getting kinda hot and bored..
ohya i changed the back music to "red blooded women" kinda miss this song.. its one of my favourite songs wen i go clubbing... enjoy the song~*
where are you... where you where you.. i want you!!!

2005-01-29T21:50:00.000+08:00

just got back from toa pa yo [CRC] lan match... sooo damn DAMN tired... woke up this morning at 10:30.. thanks to my mum's 'offing air con' torture... -.- anyway, got up and wash up before heading to seletar country club... had my breakfast at this malay stall with a grade "A" for cleaniness.. imagine, a stall under a block can have the same grade as mac, kfc and stuff.. i had meeeee soto with lotsa chilli.. burn my lips... sooo spicy.. biangs.. regreted.. -.-" // overall, it was not a very great dae tho.. went to gym, ran 2 km in abt 13 mins, cycle 2 km in 10 mins (i think so), did 20 times of every equipment that can be founf in the gym.. but after all these execrise, i dun feel anything.. i dun feel tired nor any effects that is suppose to happen.. sian half.. after that, i went for the steam bath.. went in at 49 degree for abt 10 to 15 mins.. den i can hardly breathe so i went to shower.. after i've finish everything, I WAS GLAD THAT I LOST 1KG!! hahaax.. but i think i will put back later after dinner tho.. hai.. like useless after all the execrises i've done..

todae my mood really really sucks.. its either i din have enough sleep or it just sucks.. i feel restless, stressed up, tired, sad, moody, grey clouds, sians, useless, and just feel regret for doing so many things last time that have hurt that somebody.. I JUST FEEL SO FARK UP TODAE!... who can help mi huh.. who can actually really really listen up to mi and try to solve my problem with mi, who can be there wen i needed support? i dun think anyone will do that for mi now.. i feel so solo.. depressed.. really feel like crying tho.. i really need that someone's shoulder to lean on.. i just feel hopeless. helpless. just like a lil' ger lost in somewhere.. i need you..

well, last night i was suppose to reach home at 11 plus , but on my way home, i saw jerry.. he was walking really really slowly in front of mi.. was thinking what could have happen to him.. i din intending to go up to him and ask him also.. but he turn around suddenly.. den i got no place to hide also so i went up to him and ask if he is okie.. he had accidently knock his hip bone against the wall during a dance compy in school earlier in the afternoon.. look quite bad.. anyway, he ask if i wanna tok for a while cos he dun feel like going home early. den i agreed and we went to the basketball court to talk.. he lay down on my thigh cos he could not sit properly.. we were looking at the stars, talking abt wat we did last time wen we were together.. it was damn romantic tho.. heheex.. just like the good old daes.. but he got a gf now and he saes that it's not very stable now.. hmm.. must b the ger up to something cos i noe jerry is in for long term relationship.. he saes that i was the one who really make the biggest impact in his life.. he was the one too.. who make the boggest impact in my life.. i could nv forget him as long as i live.. i still got his photo on my table, in my book and stuff.. he was one that i was really heartbroken wen we broke up.. i cried soo many weeks, month.. but thats was the past.. its only memories.. he even sae that i was just as cute and so blur as before.. saying that i trust pple too easily. i noe that its my damn bloodly fault that i lied to him wen we were together.. but i want to change.. will he give mi a chance now.. i doubt so.. i miss him now.. after talking till abt 1am, we went over to the playground and tok cos we saw some bastards walking towards us.. okie.. we continued tokin tokin and he saes that i din changed in my character wise and that pple are ruinning my reputation outside.. (hgpt) .. well i told him that i dun care, if they wanna do this, let them be.. its so childish.. i dun giving a bloodly damn abt it.. but there are things that they told him and i think he chose to believe them instead of believing wat i said. well, i guess its jus natural, cos i lied to him too many times so if he find it hard to believe in mi, i can totally understand how he feels. i dun blame him either.. he still remembers the purfume i used.. and said that my hair smells nice too =) hee.. was so happy to hear that tho.. we was sitting so close together just like how we did last time.. 2 years ago.. suddenly he came very close to mi and sae
him: you noe why i suddenly sit so close to you?
me: i dunno..
him: cos i wanna hug you.. i dun wanna see you get hurt again and again..
den he hugged mi.. i felt like crying.. he cares so much for mi... it has been so long since someone sae this to mi.. i m soo touched.. we hug really long.. i think abt 15 mins or more.. the smell of him is still there.. i dunno if he still like mi or wat.. but i still have some feelings for him.. if he asked for a patch, i will.. cos i noe he is not a guy to be missed again.. i will nv repeat history again.. but he dun seems to have any intention of asking for a patch tho.. hmm.. i m confused.. after so much so, its 4:30am in da morning.. he seems tired so i asked him to go home early to rest.. we walk to the middle of the pathway which seperates our blk. i wanted so much to tell him that i miss him, still loving him and wanted to hug him a lil' longer more.. but i just cant find the courage.. i feel that he just dun trust mi anymore.. even if i tell him, i m afraid that he might start avoiding mi again.. just like wat he did last time.. i hint him tho.. asking how can i find him again.. but he din want to give mi his hp no. so i din force him either.. but i remember his home no. tho.. hehee... ohya, he still remember my birthdae!! thats so sweet of him.. i rememebr his too.. 13th of august.. he saes that if i were to see him i will see him again.. thats so like in the tv drama duh.. -.- .. well.. just hope that his hip will get better and get well soon.. everytime i see him also got injuries here and there.. hai~ just wanna tell him : better take goodie GREAT care of yourself kie..
i tried calling his house in the evening but no body answered. guess he must be outside practising his dance.. when can i see him again i wonder.. i hope that it will be really soon!!!

i miss you.. miss you miss you..

2005-01-28T13:45:00.000+08:00

hihi morning pple!!! hahaa.. guess wat.. i jus woke up!!!! and its already 12:45pm!!! which means, i din go according to my plan... -.-"' ... i am sooo tired.. slept at 3am yesterdae.. now got to prepare to meet fudgie at queenstown to get a chair for my room.. wtf... tried calling that wesley pig and he is not awake yet!!! bet he slept this morning.. oh well.. still got to meet fudgie first.. cant let him wait alone there rite... but i will b late a lil' bit tho.. wahahaa... "gers gers gers.. they are always late" i think thats must be on ur mind wen you are reading this rite.. =P well.. hopefully can get a cheap chair tho... on budget.. but my MAIN purpose is to go there and eat at the cafe~ wahhahaa.... the food there is nice tho.. =P kie kie got to go pompom liaos.. if not later i will be late.. okie since i nv go according to my plan, i shall skip breakfast ( which is already over duh) and dinner!! a full lunch will do =) ...

okie HOPE i can get my CHEAP CHEAP CHAIR!!! mhahahaa... *evil grins*.... chaoz~*

2005-01-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

time check: 10:20... 12 hours since i woke up... todae i finally got my arse of my house and wen to hougang mall to get the 10 meters cross cable for my freaking brother... cost:11 bucks.. actually is 12 bucks but den the shop assistance is my sec skool friend so got 1 dollar discount.. so pathatic.. 1 dollar.. anyway better den nothing tho.. den i saw my another sec skool mate outside the shop.. my ex class mate mei xiu.. hai~.. she say i become fat liaos.. i totally agreed.. i am determined to lose at least 3 kg first.. so i have plans tomoro.. but hopefully i can get my fat arse out of the house.. hahaa..
oh ya.. guess wat.. i got a call from someone that really surprised me.. its from JERRY TOH JIE LI* my ex.. heheex.. kinda miss him also... he changed so much.. he is so much better now.. hai~ who ask me never cherish the times when he was with mi.. if not i guess we are still together now.. heheex.. anyway, he needed to use com dens why he call mi.. -.- ... so he came over my house and use my com.. actually din wanted him to come over cos dun wanna let him see i become so fat and with pimples all over my face.. so pai say... anyway, he did ask mi why i so long nv go point tho.. (he is concern hahaa...) den i told him abt the incident between me, nicholas and timothy... hai~ thats so childish... if i will given one more chance, i will cherish him.. but everything is ALWAYS tooooo late.. time dun really heals everything right...

okie my plan for tomoro will be:
0900: wake up.. prepare myself...
1000: reached seletar country club... prepare for gym...
1045: after gym, go swim afew arounds...
1115: get out from swimming and go for steam bath...
1145: after steaming, bath and finish everything by 1200...
1215: leave seletar.. head home...
1245: prepare to go meet fudgie and wesley go ikea buy my chair..
1315: MUST reached bus stop...
1345: MUST reached MRT station..
1430: MUST reached QUEENSTOWN station..

thats my plan.. must be prrreeefect.... hahaax... hmm.. meals will include breakfast: 2 slices of bread and a glass of HL milk... lunch: at ikea with peeps... dinner: skip if having late lunch..

okie.. i was wondering if i carry out my plan, will i lose weight? hmmm... hopefully man...
____GOD!!! I WANNA SLIM DOWN!!!_____

2005-01-27T10:40:00.000+08:00

yawn~... time check: 10:30am.. soo early leh... i still feeling tired tho... and i am DAMN hungry!!! I NEED FOOD... hahaa.. sound so despo.. well.. i m feeling kinda sad now tho..

i dreamt of him.. the one who took my heart away and never came back anymore.. the one who is wish that every call or msg was from... the one who i tot i could lean on... i dreamt of those happy times when we used to spent together at his house... i dreamt of his parents too.. well, those were the most happy times when i spent with him.. but does he noes about this? i doubt... i keep waking up from the dream but i forced myself to sleep cos i would rather be in the dream with him den coming back to reality and noe that he is avoiding me.. i miss him.. i cant hide my feelings... i told his friends that i already got over him.. but that is just to show them that i can put down this relationship.. but who noes? who actually noes how i feel? who actually ask how i feel? no one cares... he deleted his previous friendster account bcos there are tons of testimonials written by me.. den now he created a new account, i tried to add him.. but he rejected and even blocked me.. so wat.. is this a act of childishness? or does he just wanna avoid contacting mi... i really wanna let him noe that i wanna see him for once.. to let him noe how much i actually miss him during these days when i tot i could get over him...

rememeber those times wen we spent at his house, watching cartoon, having meals, playing games, sleeping together, taking pics, having some private moments together...although there is not much to do, but its the times that we share and the times wen u were by my side that make it different...

nicholas gn jian sheng... i miss you...

2005-01-27T02:22:00.000+08:00

cool huh~* i got a pet DUCKIE name NICKIE... NICKIE DUCKIE.. hahaa.. nice huh.. he sold his arse to mi.. hahaax... i shall keep him here.. forever!!! hmm... stew? fry? steam? boil? or wat shall i do with him.. *evil grin* mhahaha* he's MINE!!!

*go ahead and click on him.. see how he growls.. hahaa.. -.-

abc

2005-01-27T01:13:00.000+08:00

finally finally finally... okie i shall end here... thats all for my blog.. next time den edit again.. hahaa... although i think the SONG dun go WELL with EVERYTHING.. but well.. who cares ya.. cos its MY BLOG.. mahahhahaa *evil grins*...

well, din go SLS in the end cos i m sooo DAMN damn lazy to get my arse out of the house... nth to blog actually... cos i m in my daily routine... talk cock, watch tv, eat, play com, slack, rot, sleep, and nth else... but I M determined to go out tomoro.. MUST go SLS if not my freaking brother with nag nag nag mi like auntie again.. i m talking to bennie on msn and he is in aussie.. man.. he is still so flirt~!!! hahaa.. still like to bluff all the xiao mei mei in sg... hai..

is all guys like tat.. i cant trust guys now tho... i dunno when they are telling the truth or wat.. i miss him.. but he ignored mi.. den thats it.. i m not going to think of him so much from now on.. he even ignored mi in friendster.. i hate him.. but i still like him alittle little bit.. hahhaaa..

ending lliao... sian ar... its already 1am plus.. my eyes wanan close liaos... but i dun feel like sleeping so early.. aiyo.. i m jus soooo ____b . o . r . e . d ....